Here Without You
by TheFluidThespian
Summary: Ghost has seen death so many times that he's used to it. But this time, he's over it. (Short one-shot)


**Hey readers. I'm back with another story. Another depressing fanfic, but it relates to Ghost. I was listening to My Immortal, and it at first reminded me of Aradia, and then I thought of Ghost. Then all of a sudden this popped up. So yeah. Enjoy :3**

* * *

Ghost had seen death. He's seen it while attempting to close up a wound of a dying soldier. He's seen it come unexpectedly. Even he, himself, nearly had some close call with it. After witnessing for almost nine years, he thought he'd grown used it. He thought he'd no longer have trembling hands as he took them off of someone he tried to save; he thought he could sleep piece fully at night even after remembering the images of someone having their blood shot out from their bodies. But Ghost couldn't sleep, and there was a feeling inside of him that just made him want to scream. Though no angered or saddened cry rang out from his mouth. He just sat straight in his bed, his body shaking and his eyes beginning to build up with warm, stinging tears. The memory replayed in his head.

His lover, having being shot through the chest while taking a bullet for him. That bloody sergeant wasted his life for his. Then Ghost how tight he held onto the soldier, almost tight enough for the knuckles in his hand to pop clean out. He remembered the tears coming out of his eyes, though smiling as he spoke, _"I-I... I love you... I love you..."_

Ghost clenched his fists. _God damn you, bastard!_ He would've happily taken that bullet, but no. It had Roach's name written all over it apparently. He feels his chest tighten, almost feeling emptiness as that scene replayed over and over in his head. Ghost tried thinking that he was still alive; that he was sound asleep in his room after a rough day. Ghost wanted to slap himself because he knew that it wasn't true. He'd never see that sweet, innocent smile on Roach's mouth. He'd never feel those chapped lips against his. It's almost like every bit of love they've given to each other had some how gone away, and he'd never get it back.

He finally stood up and left his room. It'd normally not be like him to leave the room without his mask, but he didn't need it anymore. He had no care for that thing that hid the scars on his face. He walked slowly towards a room that had stairs that lead up to the roof. He knew; he just knew that he wouldn't be able to live his life normally without Roach in his life. He hated to live without him since he was his motivation for wanting to wake up in the morning. Without him, Ghost would forever feel the painful emptiness in his heart.

He opened the door and felt a cold breeze brush up onto his face. He was on the roof. The gravel lightly crunched against his boots as he approached the edge. The opportunity was right there, waiting for him with open arms. He'd no longer need to live with pain. He stopped at the edge and looked down at the height. _Just jump, and it will be over._ Though he couldn't get his legs to move. He couldn't jump. He wasn't afraid to die. He wasn't afraid of this at all. But he just couldn't _fucking_ move.

Though when he finally did move, he only took a step back onto the gravel. _Why can't I do it?_ Ghost glanced his eyes up at the sky as he drew in a shaky breath. Roach came into his thoughts again. That memory of being a sacrifice to that hostile suddenly made him gasp a bit. He kept his eyes on the stars, and pointed out the brightest one up there. He could only imagine that it could've been Roach, watching him with either disappointment or fear.

Ghost took another step back as his a build up of tears flooded over the bottom lids. "I'm sorry..." He whispered aloud. "I'm sorry, Roach. I won't scare you like that again." Though he couldn't help but laugh to himself a bit, thinking that he might be going crazy just a little bit. Then he gazed back up at the brightest star, "I won't do it, love. I promise."

He finally turned around, going back the way he came in.

* * *

 **Oh wow. I nearly cried at that one. Though I'm a bit disappointed since this is under 1,000 words, dang it! Whatever. Hope you got a little bit of feels from it. You probably didn't :/**


End file.
